The other night i was at our youth meeting and the guy that spoke said something that was profound, by accident actually, he was talking about how when God was telling all these nobodys in the Bible (moses, jeremiah....) to do his work they all had excuses. He was trying to convey whats different now and blahblah. But it made me think.."what would God ask me to do?" If God came to me right now in a burning bush, well actually if he came right now to me, it would have to be a burning surfboard or 12 inch tv cause thats all thats in here, but anyways, what would he ask me to do? And just using the Bible as a reference, i can see that it would probably be big, and more then likely huge. Then i thought of all the excuses, and i was reaching on a few of them, but he gently reminded me of every "nobody" in the Bible, moses said he couldnt speak he had a stutter or something, jeremiah said he was just a kid and couldnt speak. These two stick out to me, cause I am definately not the best speaker, when it comes to teaching. Basically, i was reminded tonight of something that i had always known growing up, that God has something big in store for my life. I may not know what it is, and no he hasnt given me a vision or spoke to me in the form of a bush, but he has chosen me for some reason. Now, i dont want to sound more "saved" then another believer or something stupid like that, as funny as that sounds, its not like that. I think we are all called to do something, i know my something will be big, dont ask me why, i just know. And really i dont know if this means big in his eyes or big in mine as well. Its weird cause i now feel that i know i need to start living my life with the utmost effort to be above reproach, something that i have not cared about for a long time. and that I need to become very aware of the times when i am taking time off from my relationship with Jesus and kind of just coasting. These are things that will help my future ministry, and not just the current ministry or place i am in life.
Now don't read this little blog the wrong way. Does God need me? Ha. No. He has shown this to me countless times. An example would be me putting all the effort into planing a worship service. Picking the songs, blah blah blah. Then half way through the week there is a huge speed bump. No one comes to practice. Great, now what am i gonna do. Sunday morning comes, and i finally break down before i walk onto stage 3 minutes before we go out. God says, hey idiot. This is mine. Let me have it. Thats all i needed. Cause i realized that i couldn't force these people to sing, i couldn't make them worship, I I I. Yah i can plan and practice but in the end, prayer rules the day. God is the one that makes or breaks it, not me. I am not needed. If i refuse to be used, God will pick someone else, and then i am left out of the blessings he had in store for me.
Basically i need to let God have it. All of it. Everyday.
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